Long dark road...

A woman driving lost in thought listening to the radio. She stopped at a red light waiting tediously for it to finally turn green as she drove towards home. Two cars in front, dragging to go, she wondered if they had been drinking. As she turned she saw a car. She heard it before she saw it, a Harley’s sweet purr, black and chromed out. It was gorgeous. Then she looked from the bike up. He was looking dead into her soul. His eyes pierced hers even from the distance between them. He was fair complected with blue eyes. How she knew they were blue she was unsure but certain. He had a sucker stick hanging out his mouth with blonde hair peeking out of his slick black helmet. It wasn't one of the dorky types of helmets either somehow he made it look cool. He was in blue jeans and boots with a black leather jacket on. His gaze followed hers as she drove by. She was instantly shocked back into reality as she drove past. Nothing but curiosity of who this man was lingered in her mind. She thought to herself I must write about him when I get home. The need to get him on paper and preserve his mysteriousness was imperative. It drove her all the way home and yet, while she sat in the garage after she parked the car she had to finish singing the song on the radio. Yet still she wrote about him the urgency it placed on her mind came before everything else. Who is he? Why did he have such a strong effect on me? Will I see him again?

Glimpse

Sometimes things don't always go according to plan. It isn't merely the disappointment of not getting what you expected but the loss that goes along with that disappointment. Things in this world can be great and often come from little things that surprise you when they expand into something you never imagined. There are times in life that you don't quite understand why things don't fit nor workout right. However, it is in only a moments glance back and the most beautiful things are seen. Looking back on what has happened you realize how great things are now from where they once had been. So if you are feeling glum and blue know this, that no matter what is happening now it will develop into something great when you glimpse back. Food for thought. Goodnight all.

In Rememberance of Thomas R. Wall Sr. & the Lives Lost on 9/11

Eleven years ago today I was sitting in my English class as the Principal told the teachers to turn on the televisions. Our English teacher had just turned it on as the second plane flew into the building. My heart broke for those lives lost that day. I wanted to go and help those people in any way I could. However, I was too young to do anything. It was at this point that I realized that there wasn’t anything I could do then but I was certain, at that exact point, that something worse would happen one day and that was when I would be there to help this time. Now I am going to college for my Psychology degree and I believe that one day it will help me in this specific situation.

Eight years ago today I lost my grandfather. He really had been lost a few days prior when he had a heart attack. His soul was already gone, but he was on life support. I will never forget the conversation with the doctors that we had to “pull the plug” it was the hardest thing for me to deal with as a teenager. Knowing you had to “kill” your grandfather by pulling that plug. However, I knew he was in fact already gone. I was able to cope with it because a few months before my birth he had lost my grandmother. I had seen him mourn her my whole life, like he had lost her yesterday, and I knew he would be happy to go home and be in her arms again. This helped me cope.

                I wonder if all these feelings will feel as fresh in twenty two years or sixteen years from now. It is hard to deal with the loss of so many American’s as well as the loss of someone who taught me how to walk. Still to this day if I smell Prince Albert’s tobacco and peppermints together I fondly think of him. This man taught me how to sew, walk, and appreciate the value of vinyl records. He also taught me about the value of a life. It had been many years since World War II had ended but he still mourned the loss of lives he was required to take. He spoke of them in a non-compassionate way but yet I knew better. He had told me that they too were like him and were just doing their jobs.

                My grandfather told me after he killed his first person in the war how he went back to his room that night and cried for having to take a life. I don’t believe that they young man my grandfather was had anticipated the all too real fact of taking someone’s life. It is nice to know that I feel like I knew him more than anyone else. We had a close bond that he did not share with everyone. People thought of him as cold and calloused. That he was just a grumpy old man. However, it was more than that. He had a rough life.

                This man mourned the loss of lives taken in World War II, he mourned the loss of the love of his life, and he didn’t understand how God could do this to people. Yet he did believe in God and did believe in heaven. He had been waiting sixteen years to see his wife again. I am not sure how he went on living without her. Probably for the fact that if he had killed himself he would not have gotten into heaven. I believe that this was the only thing keeping him going and waiting out his time on earth.

                Today in history eleven years ago we mourned for those people who lost their lives. Today in history eight years ago I mourned for my grandfather. The man who loved me without exceptions someone who taught me to appreciate an amazing glass of chocolate milk and how when you get old it’s ok to have vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup every night. Hahahaha I, of course, didn’t need any convincing of either. So today in history I mourn the loss of life on this day. Please don’t forget about those who lost their lives on 9/11.