Eleven years ago today I was
sitting in my English class as the Principal told the teachers to turn on the
televisions. Our English teacher had just turned it on as the second plane flew
into the building. My heart broke for those lives lost that day. I wanted to go
and help those people in any way I could. However, I was too young to do
anything. It was at this point that I realized that there wasn’t anything I
could do then but I was certain, at that exact point, that something worse
would happen one day and that was when I would be there to help this time. Now
I am going to college for my Psychology degree and I believe that one day it
will help me in this specific situation.
Eight years ago today I lost my
grandfather. He really had been lost a few days prior when he had a heart
attack. His soul was already gone, but he was on life support. I will never
forget the conversation with the doctors that we had to “pull the plug” it was
the hardest thing for me to deal with as a teenager. Knowing you had to “kill”
your grandfather by pulling that plug. However, I knew he was in fact already
gone. I was able to cope with it because a few months before my birth he had
lost my grandmother. I had seen him mourn her my whole life, like he had lost
her yesterday, and I knew he would be happy to go home and be in her arms
again. This helped me cope.
I
wonder if all these feelings will feel as fresh in twenty two years or sixteen
years from now. It is hard to deal with the loss of so many American’s as well
as the loss of someone who taught me how to walk. Still to this day if I smell
Prince Albert’s tobacco and peppermints together I fondly think of him. This
man taught me how to sew, walk, and appreciate the value of vinyl records. He
also taught me about the value of a life. It had been many years since World
War II had ended but he still mourned the loss of lives he was required to
take. He spoke of them in a non-compassionate way but yet I knew better. He had
told me that they too were like him and were just doing their jobs.
My
grandfather told me after he killed his first person in the war how he went
back to his room that night and cried for having to take a life. I don’t
believe that they young man my grandfather was had anticipated the all too real
fact of taking someone’s life. It is nice to know that I feel like I knew him
more than anyone else. We had a close bond that he did not share with everyone.
People thought of him as cold and calloused. That he was just a grumpy old man.
However, it was more than that. He had a rough life.
This
man mourned the loss of lives taken in World War II, he mourned the loss of the
love of his life, and he didn’t understand how God could do this to people. Yet
he did believe in God and did believe in heaven. He had been waiting sixteen
years to see his wife again. I am not sure how he went on living without her.
Probably for the fact that if he had killed himself he would not have gotten
into heaven. I believe that this was the only thing keeping him going and
waiting out his time on earth.
Today
in history eleven years ago we mourned for those people who lost their lives.
Today in history eight years ago I mourned for my grandfather. The man who
loved me without exceptions someone who taught me to appreciate an amazing
glass of chocolate milk and how when you get old it’s ok to have vanilla ice
cream with chocolate syrup every night. Hahahaha I, of course, didn’t need any
convincing of either. So today in history I mourn the loss of life on this day.
Please don’t forget about those who lost their lives on 9/11.
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