I wonder why it's called Insanity?

So my husband has forwarded the Insanity work out to me and I have printed all the bazillion pages of it with menu's and exercises and what not. I am going to attempt to do it..I am starting working out regular this week and next Monday I will be following the set schedule. I believe that even if I attempt it I will lose weight it is hard knowing that the cards are already stacked against me :/ people with PCOS have twice the difficulties of losing weight than those who are just regular Joe schmoes. Add that to migraines and feeling like poo half of the month I hope it will all go okay. However, if it will provide results for regular ole Joe's in 60 days I suppose it will definitely provide results for me in 120 days :). I figure it can't make me feel any worse, right?! I just wish I knew what kool aide to drink to get the work out bug. It pains me to see all those who are constantly seeing results, most loosing baby weight, and for me I know I will never see results like that. I am happy for them but it really just bites a big one that I got jipped basically with the whole weight thing. I mean I have never been skinny at all but I guess I wouldn't be me if I was. I just want to be able to fit back into my prom dress from Junior year. I'd like to be a happy 130-140lb range. All together I know that if I can achieve my goal I will be the happiest person alive. I am always trying so hard to work out and seeing no results working out my way sooooo hopefully with a set work out schedule I will be seeing progress. I'm going all out this time by taking measurements from pretty much everywhere to see if I lose even a millimeter of an inch anywhere! Maybe once I lose a bunch of weight I'll post them but I'm not that brave yet haha! I'm also going to break down and buy a scale I never wanted to get one because I thought it might depress me but hey maybe its evil glare will make me want to work out. I taped up the calendar to my mirror so every day I have to look at it which will pretty much be mocking me if I don't do the workouts. I am going to also try my hardest to blog every day and keep people up to date with my little mission of weight loss. I hope that blogging about it will also keep me accountable and perhaps tell myself how well I am doing :). I've got the meals all picked out we shall see how easy it is to buy all the food for it hahahaha...my poor poor pocketbook is going to hate me..I've been trying to save money since charlie's been gone by buying cheap crappy food but no more! I need to lose weight not gain it while he is gone...gah not to mention Thanksgiving and Christmas didn't help. Eeek I'm excited/scared to start but I hope everyone will cheer me on to get it all done! Thanks everyone for your future support..not to mention I thank myself for putting my first foot forward.

Hidden Treasures

Today we went exploring in Coupeville, WA who would of guessed that it had so much character? The only reason I really wanted to go out there was to show my mother this place called Knead and Feed they have to most amazing breakfast!!! Sadly though we were past time for breakfast so it was my first time enjoying their lunch, let me tell you their fresh baked bread is wonderful! Since we were there and my mother has yet to journey far due to our insane snow last week it was quite fun. We checked out all the little shops and found out about a ton of small town upcoming events! Who knew that such a tiny town could be full of fun treasures! I encountered a dutch shop were I stumbled upon a pair of stud spider earrings, quite elegant looking, I fell in love! Who says you have to wear stuff like that just in its season? As you all know I am into jewelry making and I found a bead shop in tiny Coupeville and it was pure bliss! I didn't think that there would be so many options and at a feasible price. So much to my pocketbooks dismay, but my happiness, I will be making tons of new necklaces and earrings soon! So all you fellow Washingtonians check out Coupeville it is so quaint! If you are in Oak Harbor due to Uncle Sam sending you where he sends you fear not there is a lot to do in this tiny Island! With breathtaking views and beautiful scenic drives you will miss this place once you leave it behind. I will write you all later with more adventures of our tiny and unique Island! Let's just say that I'm in love with this place even though we have made sacrifices, such as a real Walmart, it is well worth living here!



Spread like wildfire, Donate for life, Invoke a Revolution of Caring

Some days are harder than others. Sometimes time stands still and I wonder how I will handle the inevitable...will I struggle or hold strong and true. It makes me angry to see others throw their lives away. Toss their health to the side like it isn't a gift. They put chemicals and all sorts of unhealthy things into this blessing that God has given them. They have children with no thought of those children's future, they care nothing of them only of themselves and their current pleasures. While others only hope of a blessing of a child in their lives. While others wait hooked up to machines for a hope of a life worth living not restrained by mechanical means. To be free of everything like those who throw their lives away. Yet there are a short few who care...these few care for those around them and make sacrifices so others may have a shot a what we would call "normal". They donate literally a part of themselves to help another with no care of gain. It pains my heart to see others throw their lives away. It pains my heart to see those who care so much be stretched so thing because they can only help but a few. If only everyone were to give what the don't need away of their bodies once they are gone what a world we would live in. Perhaps I am a bit bias, perhaps this is just me being a bit angry at the hand I've been dealt. Or just maybe it is me trying to be heard in a sea of selfishness. Just maybe it is my way to explain to the world how the other side feels to be hindered fearing the inevitable of what is to come. It is scary to see those around you so strong crumble under the weight of an illness. It is so hard to see those who you admire for their glorious ability to hold it all together have a hard time to cope with what they have been dealt. I wonder will people I know say this of me when it is my inevitable time to pray and hope I can make it through with a strong faith? Or will they say look at how she held it all together...look at how she made those around her aware. I hope that it is the latter. I hope that one day someone will be able to look at me through all the chaos and say she did it. She made those around her aware and it spread like wildfire. I want to invoke a revolution of caring to make those realize how precious your life is and how others are withering away. Make a stand and help those around you. Donate for life. 

Revel in the Irresponsibility

There are always surprises when visiting the airport. I swear you think you know what will happen and bam it is different! I saw all the traffic when we came in and I was like oh man here we go...I'm going to get lost and it's going to take foreverrr to get checked in. Boy was I wrong! It was a breeze to check in and it only took maybe 5 minutes to go through security and all that jazz... Now I have to wait forever lol but eh you know if I would of been a little later it would of taken forever. Oh man I'm sooo excited to go home and see all my family and friends. Even if its just to be lazy while I am there I'll take it since hubs has left it has been nutssssss busy all the time with no chances to breath. I am going to take advantage of this time to relax and enjoy some me time! Thats right everyone I said me time...I'm going to be the irresponsible one for once and just kick back and not worry! Oh just the though of it is wonderful! Now when I say irresponsible I don't mean reckless just so everyone knows. :) Hope everyone has an amazing Christmas and a Happy New Years! :):) I'm going to go read my book and not a school book for once ohh the thought mhmmm I could revel in it!

Dang you did good Kid

I went into this deployment with the mindset that it was going to be the worst time of my life. However, I have somehow managed to keep it all together. I have met some new people..went out with people I barely knew and just relaxed. It has been nice to venture out and explore my own. I once was asked if I disliked my own company because all the time I was wanting to be with people. The funny thing was that no I don't and to want to never be by yourself is quite silly especially if you enjoy your own company. That made me have a new outlook on things. This new perspective has been amazing I have done things that I normally wouldn't do and have been more busy these past weeks than I ever would of thought imaginable. The time has flown by and I'm content with things. Now don't get me wrong I do miss my husband dearly but I know that during this time I can develop my oneness. I can experience new things and take on the world in a new light.


I'm excited that I have this new way of viewing the world. It isn't all doom and gloom of being apart from my other half and best friend but yet something new that I have yet to experience. I am going to revel in this new part of my life and hopefully grow in ways I never thought I was able to as a person. I have been through really rough patches but I have made it through. Each patch is added to my giant quilt of my life and each one is unique in the obstacles I have had to overcome to achieve that patch. I can't wait to look back when I'm 80 and say "dang you did good kid".

Five Factor Model Results of Me!

This test is based on the idea that five main dimensions are necessary and sufficient for broadly describing human personality.
The Results!!!
The test that you have just taken is based on the Five Factor Model of personality. There is a broad consensus amongst personality theorists that this model, which describes five major 'domains' or traits, is the best current description of the structure of personality. The five major dimensions, and your scores on them, are described below. Try to interpret your results on the basis of the overall pattern, rather than just concentrating on particular scores.

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Factor I : Extraversion (AKA Surgency)

This trait reflects preference for, and behavior in, social situations. People high in extraversion are energetic and seek out the company of others. Low scorers (introverts) tend to be more quiet and reserved. Compared to other people who have taken this test, your score on this dimension (41) is relatively high.

Factor II : Agreeableness (AKA Friendliness)

This trait reflects how we tend to interact with others. People high in agreeableness tend to be trusting, friendly and cooperative. Low scorers tend to be more aggressive and less cooperative. Compared to other people who have taken this test, your score on this dimension (30) is relatively high.

Factor III : Conscientiousness (AKA Will or Dependability)

This trait reflects how organized and persistent we are in pursuing our goals. High scorers are methodical, well organized and dutiful. Low scorers are less careful, less focussed and more likely to be distracted from tasks. Compared to other people who have taken this test, your score on this dimension (39) is relatively high.

Factor IV : Neuroticism

This trait reflects the tendency to experience negative thoughts and feelings. High scorers are prone to insecurity and emotional distress. Low scorers tend to be more relaxed, less emotional and less prone to distress. Compared to other people who have taken this test, your score on this dimension (23) is about average.

Factor V : Openness (AKA Culture or Intellect)

This trait reflects 'open-mindedness' and interest in culture. High scorers tend to be imaginative, creative, and to seek out cultural and educational experiences. Low scorers are more down-to-earth, less interested in art and more practical in nature. Compared to other people who have taken this test, your score on this dimension (26) is about average.


Now I feel that this is quite accurate to who I am..I answered in complete honesty...If you want to take this test to you can at:
http://www.personalitytest.org.uk/

Irony.

It is quite ironic when you have such a serene song playing on repeat in your head and you feel way less than serene. I feel quite awful today but I know it will eventually go away if I could ever go to sleep! I hope everyone is having a blissful day so far and I know that even though it is Monday it is no more awful than every other Monday and it is one step closer to Friday!! Can I get an ohhhh Yeeahhh? They say that the absolute truth is what you make of it. My absolute truth today is that although I feel like death this truth shall pass and I will not feel like death at a later point in time...internalizing these things and looking from the outsiders perspective is quite wonderful. My question I leave you with is what is your absolute truth about today?